a crows declaration about ‘when she wasn’t present’…

Anytime i was in a hurry,

Anytime i was needy,

Anytime i thought what i was doing was important.

Anytime i tried

Anytime i worked hard to fly faster.

Anytime i schemed.

Anytime i wasn’t relaxed.

Anytime i had an agenda.

Anytime i forced.

Anytime i convinced.

Anytime i persuaded.

Anytime i felt the need to influence.

Anytime i had a goal.

Anytime i ‘spent the effort’.

Anytime i had to have a ‘purpose’.

Anytime i was outwardly or inwardly compelled.

Anytime I thought i ‘knew’.

Anytime i ‘really wanted’…

(((( i was not in my joy ))))

i was bereft of the present.

i was ignorant of the here and now.

i was foggy, my feathers felt wet and incomplete.

Here, i surrender to what appears from dualistic eyes as ‘pointless’.

…after a few days on the pole, the last vestiges telling me to feel ‘bored’, ‘without direction’, ‘perhaps something may be wrong’ blew away.

Now i’m at peace.

Now i’m in my receiving.

Now i’m in the Freedom to Flow.

Now i’m calm… sitting here, apparently doing no-thing, yet no-thing’s left undone.